By Sunny Yan WASHINGTON — According to a recent Gallup poll, First Dog Bo has acquired a higher approval rating than President Barack Obama. 87% of American voters approve of Bo’s performance in office, while Obama only received a 48% approval rating. In a campaign that has been focused on candidates and their dogs— with [...]
Reports are surfacing from Chick-fil-A farms that chickens are allegedly staging “coop-ins” and have refused to cooperate with their handlers. By Sunny Yan ATLANTA –In response to Chick-fil-A’s president Dan Carthy’s inflammatory, anti-gay comments in support of the “biblical definition of the family unit,” chickens from nation-wide suppliers’ facilities have gone on strike. The Official [...]
By Sunny Yan WASHINGTON – In their season line-up for next fall, NBC has added a spin-off of a reality TV show that aired for 6 seasons and achieved chart-topping profits around the globe. This new entertainment venture, entitled Presidential Fear Factor, follows presidential candidates and other members of their campaign team engaging in various stunts [...]
By Sunny Yan GUANTANAMO BAY — In a week dominated by leaks of classified intelligence, a new leak has emerged regarding the latest torture method being currently employed against detainees at Guantanamo Bay detention camp. This new interrogation method is being dubbed “Bieber Fever.” The prisoner is forced to listen to the music of tween [...]
By Sunny Yan NEW YORK — In a greater effort to fight national obesity, New York Mayor Bloomberg has gone beyond his initial proposal to outlaw “oversized” sugary beverages and is now calling for a ban on all drive-thrus in fast food restaurants. This initiative would force all customers get out of the car and [...]
By Sunny Yan NEW YORK — In a news week dominated by Donald Trump’s disbelief that President Obama was born in the United States, an anonymous man has come forth to claim himself as the “mule” who transported Trump from his original birthplace to America approximately sixty-six years ago. The international carrier used a technique [...]
By Sunny Yan WASHINGTON – Last week, more than a 100 trillion sperm went on strike and demanded that proposed gender-equity amendments to anti-abortion bills be passed by state legislatures. “It’s simply, really,” president of the National Organization for Sperm explained. “We just want the same love and attention that lawmakers have been giving to female [...]
By Sunny Yan DIAGON ALLEY, LONDON — A week after former Presidential candidate Ron Paul called an end to actively campaigning for the 2012 election, Paul has finally resumed his position as Co-Chief of Goblin Affairs at Gringotts Wizarding Bank, which is owned and operated exclusively by goblins. “Every four years, Paul uses his vacation [...]
By Sunny Yan WASHINGTON — With only three months until the Republican National Convention, much speculation has surrounded Governor Mitt Romney’s pick for his vice presidential running mate. Several names, such as New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie and Ohio Sen. Rob Portman, have surfaced as potential candidates. Recently, a new nominee has entered the field: [...]