By Tommy Danger NEW YORK — In 2011, a time when America has seen historic strides toward equality and unity for all its citizens, there is still one group that has had to endure an unending torrent of vitriol, appalling discrimination and derogatory slurs. The target of this cultural insensitivity: rich bastards. A recent study, [...]
By Tommy Danger ATLANTIC CITY – At a swanky hotel on the corner of Marvin Gardens and Pacific Avenue, real estate mogul and top hat enthusiast Rich Uncle Pennybags, launched his bid for the Presidency. Vowing to create a Monopoly on innovation and prosperity for the American people. “When I started out, all I had [...]
By Tommy Danger WASHINGTON — With November 2012 drawing closer, Republican strategists are in the development stages of a plan to secure victory over the Democrats in the upcoming elections. Their plan: Inception. Based on the hit movie starring Leonardo DiCaprio, the GOP’s strategy involves entering the mind of potential voters – particularly independents – and [...]
CHICAGO— Rod Blagojevich may be facing up to 300 years in prison, but he won’t be serving his time alone. Inmates from all over the country have submitted requests to be transferred to Illinois, in an effort to “get to know” the former Governor during his extended stay behind bars. One such cellmate hopeful is [...]
WINSTON-SALEM, N.C. – John Edwards stood in front of a courthouse this Friday, with a simple message for reporters: he shouldn’t be found guilty of crimes he committed. The former Senator, Presidential hopeful and re-animated Ken doll, pleaded not guilty to charges that he used campaign money to hide his mistress and love child from [...]
Alan Greenspan is scared of one thing, and it’s not the looming shadow of death around the corner: it’s the looming debt ceiling. The former Federal Reserve Chairman and Mr. Magoo impersonator appeared on CNBC to discuss the current economic state, and proposed a brilliant strategy for dealing with the nation’s skyrocketing debt: pretending that [...]
NEW YORK- In news best filed under the “No Shit” category, real estate mogul, reality show star and comb-over master Donald Trump has announced that he will not run for president. “I have spent several months unofficially campaigning with one goal in mind: to bring about change… to the sagging ratings of The Apprentice,” Trump [...]